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| Photo by Maxime Horlaville on Unsplash |
I am two weeks home from the hospital today, almost three weeks post-hospitalization. My recovery has been...
Slow.
Steady, but slow.
We all know the phrase "baby steps." We tell it to a friend when they jump into a new project and get overwhelmed at all there is to learn and do.
"Baby steps," we remind them lest they get discouraged. "Take baby steps."
I am reminding myself that when I get discouraged about my post-hospitalization recovery.
"Baby steps, April. Baby steps."
Yeah, I'm taking baby steps. Mouse baby steps.
We (the medical "we" and Warren and I) are still trying to sort out what happened (a pancreatic bleed of some sort) and, more important, why. (Who knows?) I have an appointment Monday morning with my brilliant surgeon, Dr. Goslin, who followed me through my BIG medical crisis in 2023, who removed my gallbladder in 2024, and who, along with his associates, followed me through this most recent adventure. I am interested to hear his thoughts on what possibly led to the bleed, where he thinks I am now, and what the future might look like.
I realize that last thread—what the future might look like—may be a lost cause. "Well, that's all. The crystal has gone dark." (Professor Marvel to Dorothy, The Wizard of Oz, 1939.)
As for me, I am here. Changed (again), but here. The horrific heat dome seems to have broken. (I. Hate. Heat.) I was out at 6:00 a.m. today watering the gardens, listening to the earliest birds of the day. I penned this post at 8:00 a.m., sitting outside on our front porch, watching wisps of clouds scud by overhead. It is mid-morning now as I type and the day is still blissfully cool.
Warren and I have been ending our evenings sitting outside on our front porch in the late evening, after the sun is off the day and the temperatures cooled a little, watching the firefly show in our front yard. It is a wonderful way to pull the day to a close with each other without electronics, without other tasks demanding attention. Just flickering bits of light: on, off, on, on, off.
I am grateful. Grateful for life, grateful for Warren, grateful for those bits of light.
10 comments:
When I see your posts I hope for positive updates. It's been brutal and I'm sure sorry. Our heat dome comes then goes and back now for another weekend.
Sam, from what I can see, you all up in Minnesota have had it far worse than we have, with not only the heat dome but the horrific storms. Stay safe!
And yes, I am making progress...just have to remind myself to be more patient with myself.
I found your blog fairly recently and in spite of all the things you've been through, I find your posts very uplifting. Wishing you well!
Ah, thank you, Bobi! Very much appreciated!
The bits of light make all the difference. We're having a good firefly year here too. I hope you'll find some answers this week.
Enjoy those fireflies, Laurie! I know we do!
SO happy those baby steps are working. It is hard to get older with an active disease. Slow moving but active.
Kim, you said a mouthful. Aging is hard enough without your body messing with you, as you well know!
April, I'd found your blog a few years back, commented a time or two, then dropped off and I've missed so much. I'd been seeing your comments on SAMs blog and a few others, and I'm checking in and catching up. I'm so sorry you've had such a hard time. I'm glad to read you're home now. I hope the medical crew figures out what happened and how best for you to take care and go forward.
Celie, I saw your name pop up this morning and thought "I know HER!" Welcome back! I am better each day--just have to pace myself!
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