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| Photo by Unseen Studio on Unsplash |
"The truth is that what the heart hungers for, the tongue talks of." Charles J. Finger
That quote is from the 1925 Newbery Award book, Tales From Silver Lands. It captured my attention enough when I read it in 2011, the year I read all the Newbery Award books to date, that I copied it into my commonplace book.
A decade plus later, I am not as drawn to it and not as certain I agree with it anymore.
In 2023, I would say that what the heart hungers for, the fingers talk of. I firmly believe, now that I have been writing steadily and almost daily for three months, that my heart comes out through my fingers penning their way across a page. I know full well there are things in our hearts that our tongues cannot talk of, past disappointments and missteps key among them.
A close friend recently had a restless night during which thoughts came to mind unbidden. One was "my life is becoming a collection of regrets I'm finding hard to overlook." I understood that immediately. I, too, have my own list of regrets—none of them, I hope, so heavy and burdensome that I will drag them around with me forever—but I know they are there.
And sometimes, in the quiet of the night, or even while taking a walk, random ones will rise up. And my mind starts churning: I shoulda, woulda, coulda...you finish the sentence.
Regrets are not unlike bad debts from when I practiced law. At some point, I had to accept the bill would never be paid and close the account. (This was also the excellent analogy for forgiving someone, a technique my brilliant therapist Doug Kramer taught me many years ago.)
So let me hold thoughts in my heart. My tongue does not need to tell them.
But my pen might. And does. And will.
4 comments:
DOn't we all do that? But I have found when I start down that woulda,coulda, shoulda road that if I stop and look at the good things that I have or that came out of those times I am truly blessed. We can't go back because oh how I would love to.
Oh, dear Kim. I love memories and the good ones are rich and warm. It's the other stuff that our mind turns to (or at least mine does) and not even the Big Things (losing a spouse, a bad diagnosis, another Major Event) but the petty stuff: "She really said that to me?" or "After all I did for them, they couldn't even ask me how I was doing?"
Somehow I seem to have a very difficult time typing or writing my deep feelings. They're not easily put to words. Perhaps that's a matter of practice? On another note, I've begun keeping a list of April grocery prices. Thanks for the inspiration!
Laurie, we all have different ways of expressing our heart's feelings. I see yours in your photography.
And I saw your shout out in your blog about April grocery prices! Thank you!
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