Stuff

Stuff is on my mind.

Stuff as in physical, tangible stuff: books, clothes, papers. Even with my leaner-than-many-of-my-friends (and my husband, for that matter) lifestyle, I still have a lot of stuff. Right now, this moment, I am looking at a pile of stuff (books, papers, miscellaneous stuff) 4 feet long, 18 inches wide, and 12 inches deep sitting on my study floor. Goodwill, shred, file away, send to someone else: it is all stuff that needs to go, in part because I am tired of looking at it and in part because we will be hosting one of our guest artists next weekend and he will be staying in this room. Rather than just shift the stuff to the other spare bedroom (and then shut the door), I need to deal with this stuff now.

The irony of my listening to Anthony Ongaro, the guy behind the website "Break The Twitch," talking on YouTube about "Simple Inspiration for Minimalism and Decluttering" while I stare at this pile and type this post is not lost on me. Yeah, yeah, I know, Anthony, I know. I gotta let go of this STUFF.

There is other stuff too: intangible, emotional, sticky life stuff. My health, which continues to deteriorate slowly and creakily, is on the "other stuff" pile. Our complicated schedules (upcoming concerts, chemo appointments, conferences and conventions, to name a very few) are part of that other stuff. Helping my dad navigate his new life now that mom lives in a memory unit is some of that other stuff; at almost 86, he is more willing to let his adult children step in and assist with the paperwork, the housework, the yard work, the, well, stuff. I have children and grandchildren out in the Pacific Northwest whom I think about, worry about, miss a lot, and I find myself going over and over the calendar from now until September trying to figure out when we can get out there and not be rushed. (I almost wrote "stuff a trip out there in," but I refuse to treat that trip as stuff.) And those are just the larger items. Correspondence, dinners, coffee with friends, well, that's even more stuff.

It's a lot of stuff.

I am taking this coming week off from work. It is spring break for all of the schools in our county and given that at this time of year 99% of my workload is holding attendance mediations in schools, next week is quiet at Court and a perfect time to step away. I have a few things "scheduled" during that week (including two consecutive appointments at Court on Monday, each about 45 minutes long) but otherwise am leaving the week wide open. I am using the week to regroup mentally, to recharge physically, to write, to do what I want at a slower and easier pace. I am hoping to use some of the week to get through some of the other stuff (on the not too unrealistic hope that the tangible stuff will be done by today or tomorrow).

I need this week to unstuff myself.

Social activist Jodie Patterson, in her new and stunning memoir The Bold World, wrote "It's time, I think, to dream forward."

I agree. And that's why I need to take care of this stuff—the tangible stuff, the intangible stuff, all of the stuff—now. So I can dream forward.