Sunday, September 23, 2018

Today I Met My Granddaughter

This girl 
Regular readers are looking at this title and thinking, "But April, you already know Ramona. You just got back from two weeks out west spending time with her. What do you mean by 'today I met my granddaughter?' Is there another granddaughter that you have been keeping secret?"

No, there is no other granddaughter. I'm talking about Ramona.

My title is taken from a good friend's recent observations. Scott's father died when he was a teenager. He today has teenage children, one of whom recently went on her school's 8th grade trip to Washington, D.C. His daughter was one of four students chosen to lay a wreath at the Tomb of the Unknown Solider. Scott reflected on how his father would have been so proud. Then he said, "Today I think my father met his granddaughter."

Close friends know that several years ago I started a middle school age novel (MS fiction, as opposed to YA fiction) in which Ramona is 12 years old and the main character. I have referred to it in passing from time to time in this blog. This novel has languished for lots of reasons, most of them excuses.

It's. Not. Completed.

Yesterday afternoon I sat for three hours in the hall at the Renaissance Theater in Mansfield while Warren was in rehearsal. I passed the time reading Beautiful Dream by Jennifer Fulwiler, a book I just happened to pluck off the New Book shelf at the library the day before. Fulwiler writes in hilarious, poignant, and solid prose about balancing a large, young family, a strained budget, health problems, and her passion and desire to write.

The writing stuff jolted me. I carried my thoughts through the evening, through the concert, all the way home, and as I fell asleep. I woke with it in my head this morning.

As Warren and I talked in the early, quiet moments of our day, I started to verbalize my thoughts. I talked about being pushed to write again, especially to finish my MS novel. Warren knows the overall story I am writing, but has not read it. He asked me whether I would make changes to the structure given changes to the family (Ramona's cousin Lyrick being born two years ago, for example) that have happened since I first started it.

No, I said. I'm solid with how I have the family structured. Then I spoke about Ramona in my novel.

"It's our Ramona, six years from now. She's stubborn and brave and sometimes just falls apart but takes this incredible hard, huge journey and..."

Then I paused as tears flooded my eyes and my throat closed up.

"Oh my god," I said. "I've met the Ramona I'm never going to meet. And she's amazing and wonderful and..."

And I started crying.

Some of my tears were from sorrow that I will never know Ramona at 12.  But the overwhelming emotions were wonder and gratitude.

I met my granddaughter, Ramona of 2024, today, this morning.

What a joy. What a gift.

3 comments:

Laurie said...

Such a bittersweet time. Thinking of you.

Out My window said...

Oh you mead me cry, but what a wonderful thing for you to experience.

Anonymous said...

Your post brought tears to my eyes. When my husband was receiving acupuncture to help ease the pain caused by his advancing cancer, he had a "dream:" He lived a perfect day at the beach with our (unborn) grandson. He was able to "see" our Auggie at 2 years old, running into the ocean, splashing water, and laughing. This was a particular gift as Auggie was born with serious medical issues ( 3 months later), and my beloved passed away 7 months after Auggie's birth. Our grandson is a beautiful 3 year old today, he is everything his poppa thought he would be and more.
It was a gift for my husband to "meet Auggie," and know that he would in fact. be ok. It gave my husband peace.
Thank you for sharing April.
Much grace to you.
Patricia/Fl