Villanelles, Part Two

Right on the heels of my first villanelle, I followed with this one. Read with the other, it makes for a nice set of bookends in a greeting card kind of way. I blame it on the rhymes.


I do love the word "villanelle" though. It is a beautiful word to roll off the tongue, and I regret I cannot bring the beauty to the form that the name implies.

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Daybreak

Sun is rising strong and bright.
Shadows all are set to flee.
Extinguish candles at the light.

Birds raise their voices in delight,
Calling out in vocal spree,
"Sun is rising strong and bright!"

Scour away the tips of night,
Set the sleeping hours free!
Extinguish candles at the light.

Day grows stronger, dark's in flight,
Paths are lit for all to see.
Sun is rising strong and bright.

Gray haze fades without a fight,
Nowhere left for it to be.
Extinguish candles at the light.

Morning breaks, sun gains height,
Golden rays wash over me.
Sun is rising strong and bright.
Extinguish candles at the light.

Villanelles

Villanelles are an odd, tight, technical form that originated during the Renaissance as freeform drinking songs. Somewhere along the line, supposedly in nineteenth century France, villanelles became highly structured and assumed the form they retain today: five tercets (stanzas of three lines) followed by a quatrain (stanza with four lines), with two repeating lines (refrains) and two repeating rhymes (a or b). The repeating lines are the first and third line of the first tercet. The ending quatrain also picks up those repetitious (and rhyming) lines. (Confused yet? So am I. I only write these with a penciled schematic in the margin.)

For someone like me who struggles with rhymed verse, villanelles are hell. Some poets - Dylan Thomas, Sylvia Plath - handled this form brilliantly. Me? I feel like I am writing script for greeting cards when I work on one.

Below is my first attempt (ever) at a villanelle, written in March of this year.

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End of Day

Daylight fades across the way.
Shadows grow, colors end.
Candles lit at end of day.

Children coming in from play,
Parting from the many friends,
Daylight fades across the way.

Supper: hunger's now at bay.
Mother with the socks to mend,
Candles lit at end of day.

Bath time now, boat display!
Homework done with, time to spend.
Daylight fades across the way.

Day is over, time to pray,
Cares and worries now to tend.
Candles lit at end of day.

Sleeping household, let it stay
Quiet while the nighttime wends.
Daylight fades across the way.
Candles lit at end of day.